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Shock waves of suicide

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Melissa Harvey
  • 301st Fighter Wing Public Affairs
NAVAL AIR STATION FORT WORTH JOINT RESERVE BASE, Texas --  Shock waves produce violent changes.

That’s what suicide does.

“It's usually devastating to all concerned -- family, friends and coworkers,” said Maj. Jose Jasso, the 301st Fighter Wing suicide prevention program manager.

“Those left behind are often caught by surprise and can experience a wide range of conflicting thoughts and emotions including shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, shame, emptiness, grief and distress about unfinished business,” he said. “It also leads to questions about why the person ended his/her life or whether one could have done or said something to prevent it.”

Jasso explains the path to processing a loss like this is not the same for everyone.

“No two people experience a suicide the same way, and no two people necessarily cope with it in the same manner,” he said. “The effects on family, friendships, the workplace and even the mission can be different for everyone, but with the right help and resources, it is possible to get through this tragedy and even grow from it.”

Lt. Col. Mark McDaniel, 301st Fighter Wing head chaplain, shares about the role of free will and the importance of community.

“In the Gospel accounts, Jesus had chosen twelve men to walk with him, share his vision and become apostles of the new Church,” he said. “One of them, due to their own actions, chose suicide. Even Jesus himself lost someone to suicide. Sadly, it happens. We cannot take responsibility for the free will of people. All we can do is try our very best to become involved in the lives of those around us especially as our culture becomes more and more isolated and less of a community.”

Suicide is a choice that people make for any number of reasons.

Mary Arnold, a licensed clinical social worker and 301st Fighter Wing director of psychological health, gives insight on why some may struggle with or act on suicidal thoughts.

“People sometimes feel there are no other options. This usually happens when the person feels completely hopeless; that there is no one or nothing that can help them,” she said. “They often believe that their problems are bigger or that they do not deserve help. They are in so much pain that they cannot see there are actually other options.”

Arnold gives four options that can help someone get through tough times.

1. Talk to someone who will listen. Talk to a friend, a family member, a coworker, a chaplain, or a therapist. Seeking further mental health treatment is also extremely important. The immediate suicidal ideation may pass from talking with a friend or a coworker, but the real issue is usually not resolved that quickly.

2. Develop a safety plan ahead of time. List people and phone numbers to call and activities to do. When in a dark place, we are not able to clearly think of these things. Be prepared.

3. Remove anything that could be used to hurt oneself. Removing the means prior to the thoughts can help to save a life.

4. Find another activity to occupy one’s mind. Go for a run, ride a bike, go bowling, fishing, scrapbooking, write, paint, laugh… anything that will change thoughts from suicide to something positive.

Airmen can support each other when in need through the Air Force’s ACE model. ACE stands for Ask, Care, and Escort.

Arnold explains how one can use this model:

Ask: When risk factors or warning signs are apparent, ask simple questions such as, ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Are you thinking of hurting yourself?’

Care: Take the time to care, talk and listen to them, show an interest in his/her problems.

Escort: Take the person to someone who can help, such as the chaplain, the director of psychological health, a first sergeant, supervisor, or Airman and Family Readiness.

McDaniel reminds Airmen when they reach out they will be met with help.

“In over sixteen years of serving the wing as a chaplain, every commander that has been faced with a person contemplating suicide has responded with support and resources to assist their troubled Airman.”

When dark moments come, as they often do, choose to reach out and get help so shock waves of life and hope reach Airmen, family members and friends for years to come.

A confidential resource available to Airmen or civilians around the clock is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline that can be reached at 1-800-273-8255. For additional contact information, click here.